…addressed or avoided…

“If you want to get something done, do it yourself.” — Anonymous 
In the realm of life lessons, I have avoided plenty of things that were asked of me.  It’s not always pretty.  And as tempting as it might be to “take-on-the-world,” we all have our limits. 
So before you commit, ask yourself:  “Is this something you want to fix (and address) or avoid (and leave alone)?”  Just taking that one step goes a long way.
Or perhaps the question:  “What makes this worth doing?” might shake something loose.   Being asked to give normally comes with some benefit.  Identifying that benefit makes it easier to get on with the work and allows you to negotiate your obligation. 
If you do choose to “take up” whatever must be fixed, you might ask: “What part will I start with?”  Or, if you do choose to avoid the issue, then you might ask: “What will this cost me?”
Both of these questions put you in the driver’s seat; an obligation becomes less onerous once you exercise personal judgement.   It’s fine to push back.  Just give people time to adjust.
Creating (or living with) avoidance is taxing.  The more you can name your preferences and communicate them, the less you will feel drained.
Of course, you could ask yourself :  “What would it take for me to address what I am avoiding?”  Often, we get into an “avoid-or-address” wrangle when trying to judge the impact of someone else’s reaction.  Working out the precise  level of responsibility we want to take on is hard.  And no one has a lock on the future.  But to avoid a situation, just because it is uncomfortable… well that doesn’t move the situation along very well either.
We do have a choice in the obligations we accept.  Rarely is an obligation one-sided.  Be comfortable with the space offered to you – even if you have to ask for it.

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